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Most of my friends were involved in church, so they had been marinating for years in the knowledge that this was a divine act. The priest would preach on the heroic and beautiful sacrifice the spouses were making. As one wedding ended, when we all bowed our heads to pray, I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like to be standing in front of the altar myself.Sometimes a close friend or family member would casually remark how gross a gay kiss on TV was and it would be enough to send me hyperventilating to the water’s edge.How could I be so well-liked on the surface and reviled underneath?My friends and family would all laugh because the priest was telling us to do something but we were too caught up to notice.



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