Dating a career woman

08-Apr-2020 06:37

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Instead of making the hard choice, I make sure I don't put myself in that situation in the first place. Very few people are lucky enough to have loving caring long term relationship and a successful career at the same time, especially if your industry is unstable and requires a lot of mobility. I have dreams, I have stuff I want to do with my life, which doesn't involve a family or relationship.

It's a decision you need to make for yourself.

But they’re not often married to men whose careers have less stature.

My friend was in medical school when her longtime fiancé called off the wedding.

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I do so because I want to make sure there's no attachment, not from me, not from him.

But I left town and, due to a series of bad relationships and improbably good grades, I stayed in school and earned a Ph. Then I was an adolescent who read Gloria Steinem and saw the feminists on TV.

By the time I was a graduate student, the idea that woman was man’s equal was regarded with hostility by the general population but as a mandate for change in universities. By the time I was 35, I was a professor who’d published two books but still hadn’t dated anyone who wasn’t a guy in a local band (he liked Alka-Seltzer with corn flakes for breakfast, hangover remedy); a small-time drug dealer (more than one of these, in fact); or a carpenter ready to knock off early if I’d just turned in a big project.

He’d realized, he said, he didn’t want to be in a marriage in which both spouses had demanding careers.

So it’s hard for a woman with ambition to meet someone with whom to share more than sex and the talk that’s all mood-calibration.

He had a disease exacerbated by stress he’d never mentioned during two weeks of real-life sweet nothings and two months of love letters and phone conversation.

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